Why? -- the Start of a Blog
Starting a blog is daunting.
It is partially the fear that someone, someday, might discover this blog and think, "gee, what a waste of internet space." It is also the worry that I may disappoint a faithful reader at some point in the unforeseeable future. Or maybe it is -- and I do not wish to admit it -- the uncomfortable feeling that by starting a blog, I agree to bring a part of my inner self out into the open.
Whichever it is, it makes me feel uneasy. But why?
We live in a society, where everything comes with a "price tag." "Is it worth my money?" "Is it worth my time?" We ask.
We judge the work of others by looking at the product they produce. And in turn, we become attached to what we ourselves produce.
A good friend of mine -- who is in academia, just like myself --often feels that their sense of self-worth is entirely attached to how their work is perceived. I tell my friend, "that's not healthy."
But I fail to convince myself.
I am no different from my friend. I am, in this very moment, dreading the idea of having anyone discover this blog and subconsciously equating me with it.
But alas! Here I am, still writing.
And why, you ask? I do not know.
Perhaps I write, in the hopes that I will eventually overcome the thought that I am the writing I produce.
Or maybe I write, with the wish that I will get lost in the writing itself, that I may forget how and why I have launched this site at all.
So why did I agree to myself to start this again?